Friends (all I needed to know I learned from MY kindergartener)

Big E is a very sweet boy. He truly strives (albeit not always successfully) to be kind to others and make them happy. Anyway, during December his grandparents (who live in PA) send 25 envelopes for each boy to open one a day until Christmas. Little things are found in the envelopes from stickers, coloring pages and little puzzles to money in the form of State Quarters, Presidential Silver Dollars and paper money. The later is for choosing a special item on which to spend the money. Big E immediately wanted to buy a "treat" at school with his money. After talking about whether to save or spend, he chose save (for the first 2 times). Then he wanted to buy a treat. Which was fine with us.

So after school, Big E informs me that he didn't get his treat. Why? I ask. He forgot . . . pretty typical of my kindergartener these days. So where is the money? He gave it to a friend. Why? "because he didn't have any." Hmmm. Well that is very altruistic my dear boy, but why is that your responsibility. "because he is my friend." Now, I will state that this young boy my dear Big E calls a friend, is not always his friend and can manipulate him. Thus a discussion about friends . . .

A friend is someone you can count on to help you. A friend doesn't expect anything from you or of you. A friend likes you because you are you and not because you have certain things or give them things. So, Big E, do you have anybody who is like this? He names 4 kids. 1 from his new school, 2 from his pre-school and 1 from church.

I start crying. It breaks my heart to think he only has 1 friend from his new school. Then, after I calm myself down and really think about this, I realize that he is not upset by this. When I think more about it I'm pretty impressed actually. He gets something that I didn't get . . . he doesn't have to be best friends with everyone in his class. In fact, he's only know these kids since September and I'm expecting life-long friendships by DECEMBER! Then I take a look at how I've gone about having friends over the years. Probably not in the best way, but I've changed that over the last few years. I used to think I needed one REALLY close BEST friend and everyone else was on the periphery and I really wasn't sure how to let them in too b/c I spent all my "friend" energy on one person.

Those 4 kids that Big E mentioned all bring something different to his life. They meet the "requirements" so to speak of a friend. Along the way, he'll meet more who do this. I have a lot of different friends who all bring something different to my life.

I have my All Smiles friends. Because we scrapbook together for 3 days non-stop 2x a year, we know a lot about each other. We're all different . . . 3/5 are Creative Memories Consultants . . . 3/5 use face book . . . all 5 of us live in different cities . . . 3/5 have some type of psychology background . . . all of our husbands are physicians (2/5 radiology, 1 surgery, 1 GI and 1 neonatology), we all have different political views and we all are friends who care deeply about each other. We all bring something unique to the group and are very appreciative of our time together.

Then I have my bible study friends. A group of about 13 women who used to meet every Monday for 4.5 years (our group just ended b/c our priest, leader and friend retired this year). These women are some of my dearest friends. Every one is at least 60 or older except for my friend LD and me. Most have grand kids. I've been asked by them why we like to hang out with all "us old women" they aren't old to me and never have been. They've taught me a whole lot and I miss seeing them every week. Being in that group has challenged some of my deepest held beliefs and has brought me closer to each one of these women.

Then I have my "kids' school" friends, neighbor friends with kids the same age as mine. We seem to have a lot in common b/c of our children. Our kids love each other. But again, there are so many differences. Some work full time while others work part time or at home, we have different interests and hobbies. Yet, these friends are so important to my life because they help me to laugh at the everyday and know that I'm not alone in this crazy thing called parenting.

I also have my work friends (from the music playhouse) and friends we have met along the road of life (HS, college, grad-school, med-school, residency, fellowship and Vandy) each one brings something special to my life OR at least added to it at some point along the way.

Big E is just starting his road. He will meet people along the way who will become life-long friends. He'll also meet those who touch his life in some way and then move on or he will. If he can figure out now what it means to be a friend, he'll be okay. Because, as long as he always has someone he can count on and or turn to. . . it doesn't matter how many there are. Lucky for him, I think he's on the right track!

Lego Birthday Bash

I can't believe he's 6. It truly amazes me that he has now been in our lives for more than 1/2 our marriage!

Big E turned 6 on Valentine's day. Now, we don't do BIG birthdays around here. Big meaning the invite everyone we know from school and church kind of parties. In fact, we don't do "friend" parties until our kids turn 5. However, we do like to get into the party theme. Big E's last party was "Superhero Training Camp" at M.I.S.T. (McElroy Institute of Superhero Training). You can see from the picture that I mean what I say when I say we get into it!

So in January, we asked Big E what he wanted to do for this party figuring it would be Star Wars and we'd have a lot of planning to do (including choosing our own characters for the day). We were thrilled when he said he wanted to do a lego party. No dressing up there unless we were going to dress up as Giant Legos, which we could have done I suppose. Then the dreaded question of which friends he wanted to invite. This also went better than expected. He named 4 friends and felt "that was enough because these were his 'real' friends." [see blog re. Friends]. Wow, this is going to be easy.

So, for the easiest party so far . . .

1) mini loaf cake for each child with 2 half marshmallows on top and iced to look like colored legos

2) 1 large loaf cake with 8 half marshmallows on top for the center lego brick

3) lego racer kits for each child bought on sale for less than $2.50 each

4) lego fruit sancks

5) hot dogs and baked cheetos (Big-E's favorite)

6) 5 (including Big E and Special K) very happy lego building kids.

No tantrums. Only one black/blue cheek b/c Special K tripped and fell face first into the coffee table. One friend asked for his present back b/c Big E already had one . . . "why does he need two?" A lot of blue, red and yellow lips! and one very happy Big E!