Friends (all I needed to know I learned from MY kindergartener)

Big E is a very sweet boy. He truly strives (albeit not always successfully) to be kind to others and make them happy. Anyway, during December his grandparents (who live in PA) send 25 envelopes for each boy to open one a day until Christmas. Little things are found in the envelopes from stickers, coloring pages and little puzzles to money in the form of State Quarters, Presidential Silver Dollars and paper money. The later is for choosing a special item on which to spend the money. Big E immediately wanted to buy a "treat" at school with his money. After talking about whether to save or spend, he chose save (for the first 2 times). Then he wanted to buy a treat. Which was fine with us.

So after school, Big E informs me that he didn't get his treat. Why? I ask. He forgot . . . pretty typical of my kindergartener these days. So where is the money? He gave it to a friend. Why? "because he didn't have any." Hmmm. Well that is very altruistic my dear boy, but why is that your responsibility. "because he is my friend." Now, I will state that this young boy my dear Big E calls a friend, is not always his friend and can manipulate him. Thus a discussion about friends . . .

A friend is someone you can count on to help you. A friend doesn't expect anything from you or of you. A friend likes you because you are you and not because you have certain things or give them things. So, Big E, do you have anybody who is like this? He names 4 kids. 1 from his new school, 2 from his pre-school and 1 from church.

I start crying. It breaks my heart to think he only has 1 friend from his new school. Then, after I calm myself down and really think about this, I realize that he is not upset by this. When I think more about it I'm pretty impressed actually. He gets something that I didn't get . . . he doesn't have to be best friends with everyone in his class. In fact, he's only know these kids since September and I'm expecting life-long friendships by DECEMBER! Then I take a look at how I've gone about having friends over the years. Probably not in the best way, but I've changed that over the last few years. I used to think I needed one REALLY close BEST friend and everyone else was on the periphery and I really wasn't sure how to let them in too b/c I spent all my "friend" energy on one person.

Those 4 kids that Big E mentioned all bring something different to his life. They meet the "requirements" so to speak of a friend. Along the way, he'll meet more who do this. I have a lot of different friends who all bring something different to my life.

I have my All Smiles friends. Because we scrapbook together for 3 days non-stop 2x a year, we know a lot about each other. We're all different . . . 3/5 are Creative Memories Consultants . . . 3/5 use face book . . . all 5 of us live in different cities . . . 3/5 have some type of psychology background . . . all of our husbands are physicians (2/5 radiology, 1 surgery, 1 GI and 1 neonatology), we all have different political views and we all are friends who care deeply about each other. We all bring something unique to the group and are very appreciative of our time together.

Then I have my bible study friends. A group of about 13 women who used to meet every Monday for 4.5 years (our group just ended b/c our priest, leader and friend retired this year). These women are some of my dearest friends. Every one is at least 60 or older except for my friend LD and me. Most have grand kids. I've been asked by them why we like to hang out with all "us old women" they aren't old to me and never have been. They've taught me a whole lot and I miss seeing them every week. Being in that group has challenged some of my deepest held beliefs and has brought me closer to each one of these women.

Then I have my "kids' school" friends, neighbor friends with kids the same age as mine. We seem to have a lot in common b/c of our children. Our kids love each other. But again, there are so many differences. Some work full time while others work part time or at home, we have different interests and hobbies. Yet, these friends are so important to my life because they help me to laugh at the everyday and know that I'm not alone in this crazy thing called parenting.

I also have my work friends (from the music playhouse) and friends we have met along the road of life (HS, college, grad-school, med-school, residency, fellowship and Vandy) each one brings something special to my life OR at least added to it at some point along the way.

Big E is just starting his road. He will meet people along the way who will become life-long friends. He'll also meet those who touch his life in some way and then move on or he will. If he can figure out now what it means to be a friend, he'll be okay. Because, as long as he always has someone he can count on and or turn to. . . it doesn't matter how many there are. Lucky for him, I think he's on the right track!

Lego Birthday Bash

I can't believe he's 6. It truly amazes me that he has now been in our lives for more than 1/2 our marriage!

Big E turned 6 on Valentine's day. Now, we don't do BIG birthdays around here. Big meaning the invite everyone we know from school and church kind of parties. In fact, we don't do "friend" parties until our kids turn 5. However, we do like to get into the party theme. Big E's last party was "Superhero Training Camp" at M.I.S.T. (McElroy Institute of Superhero Training). You can see from the picture that I mean what I say when I say we get into it!

So in January, we asked Big E what he wanted to do for this party figuring it would be Star Wars and we'd have a lot of planning to do (including choosing our own characters for the day). We were thrilled when he said he wanted to do a lego party. No dressing up there unless we were going to dress up as Giant Legos, which we could have done I suppose. Then the dreaded question of which friends he wanted to invite. This also went better than expected. He named 4 friends and felt "that was enough because these were his 'real' friends." [see blog re. Friends]. Wow, this is going to be easy.

So, for the easiest party so far . . .

1) mini loaf cake for each child with 2 half marshmallows on top and iced to look like colored legos

2) 1 large loaf cake with 8 half marshmallows on top for the center lego brick

3) lego racer kits for each child bought on sale for less than $2.50 each

4) lego fruit sancks

5) hot dogs and baked cheetos (Big-E's favorite)

6) 5 (including Big E and Special K) very happy lego building kids.

No tantrums. Only one black/blue cheek b/c Special K tripped and fell face first into the coffee table. One friend asked for his present back b/c Big E already had one . . . "why does he need two?" A lot of blue, red and yellow lips! and one very happy Big E!

Inauguration 2009

Luck was on my side to be a part of this amazing moment! A friend decided to throw caution to the wind and drive up. On Friday, I did the most spontaneous thing ever and decided to ride along. We had no tickets, but a place to stay at her mom's condo. Our plans were to go with the flow and just BE there. On Saturday another friend, whose friend works for Nancy Pelosi AND who already had tickets through this friend, called us and told us that she had tickets for us too. We were psyched, thrilled, overjoyed, etc. . . Her friend felt the tickets should go to people who were willing to drive all the way from TN when they didn’t have tickets to anything JUST to be a part of this event. We are so thankful to them! So thank you to Amanda for your willingness to just GO which inspired me so much to join you, to Lisa, Kelly and Hymay for sharing tickets with us, to Connie for giving us a WARM place to fall when we could stand no longer, to the Rayhabs for helping me with the boys so I could go, to Rachel for covering my class and Last, but certainly not least, to Steve for supporting me, so I could go at the last minute. It is a trip I will always remember!

So for the details & a few pictures of the trip . . .

• We left Nashville at 2pm CST and drove until 2am EST. The drive was good with the exception of the snow storm in VA. We weren't sure we'd make it but it stopped by Roanoke. We got a burst of excitement when some people we met at a gas station wanted to take a picture with Amanda's car which was painted "Signed, Sealed, Delivered, We're There"









• We spent Monday checking things out. Everyone was in such great spirits and so excited to be there. It was like a great big party just before it starts. Our tickets were south of the city so we had to go get them. When we got there we found out that they had gotten an EXTRA ticket for Connie, Amand's mom, so she could go too! Awesome! We went to bed at 9:30 b/c the next day was going to be long!





• We woke up at 2:45 EST to get ready to go down to the Capitol. We took a cab to the metro (getting there at 4:00) and rode down to our stop.

• We finally got to the holding gate to get into the festivities at about 5:00








• Temperatures were probably around 14 degrees, but there were so many people, and we had so much excitement that it didn't feel that bad . . . YET. We added the hand/foot warmers about 6:00 or so.



• We were able to enter at 8:30 for screening. This is the only place where we met someone who worried us. As we were entering the screening area (imagine airplane screening . . . the screeners were TSA) we had to show our tickets (the first of probably 20 times). A man was right in front of me with an arm load of camera equipment and bags (which were not allowed in our area . . . no bags over 8x6x4) When he couldn't show the blue ticket that was required for our area the security told him he had to leave. They got into an argument and the man FAKE FAINTED! Another man came from behind me and said "we have all these passes, we're allowed in" When the man from the ground thought they were getting somewhere with security, he started to get up. Then security told him that no he could not come in, he had the wrong passes and his passes allowed him into the mall area. The first man "fainted" again. Then a cop came over to us and told us that he'd already done this 2x. Amanda and I were stalled while this was going on and then they let us through then stopped everyone behind us until this was taken care of.



• We stood in our place in front of the capitol until the ceremonies began

Obama takes the Presidential Oath



• The ceremonies were amazing in and of themselves, but the people we were surrounded by were the best. In fact when people ask what my favorite part was . . . it's the people. There was so much hope, excitement and pure joy that it radiated from most everyone (there were only a few exceptions, which I attribute to their personal desire to be in the best spot to see that they forgot that there were 2mil others who wanted the best spot as well). The spirit there was amazing!


• We stayed until Pres. Bush was sent off by helecopter. We walked to a hamburger joint, which happened to be owned by the chef who won Top Chef (I had no clue and never watched the show, but it was cool anyway.)




Lisa, Amanda and me



• When walking back to the metro, we noticed the huge lines to get in and someone mentioned that the parade hadn't started so they closed all metros. In route to another station we just happened to see the beginning of the parade where Pres. Obama inspects the military as they marched by. Another great photo op!






• We finally made it to the next station and were absolutely freezing and exhausted by this point (about 4 in the evening). The metro was crowded and the little indoor mall area next to the metro was also crowded with people everywhere sitting on the floor and standing. Trash and food was all over the hallway floor. It was just depressing. We decided that since no matter what we did, we were going to be in a line, we'd go ahead and get in the line that took us home. The whole process only took about 20-30 min. Not bad for the crowd. All in all, people were considerate even if they wanted to get going.




• We got back to Connie's condo and collapsed. Amanda almost fell asleep in her chicken stew she was so exhausted. We were in bed by 9:30. We so wanted to go to a ball, but were thankful we didn't get tickets at that point . . . although we would have toughed it out if we had :)



• We left at 8 the next morning, getting home at 6 our time.

The whole trip was a whirlwind of activity, excitement and fun. I'd do it again I must say. It was amazing. A true moment in history!

Ketchup Explosion & Holiday Pictures

Big E is 5 1/2 years old and is in Kindergarten with other 5 and 6 year olds. What do we know about 5-6 year olds??? Hmmm let's think about it.



1) like to test limits

2) love to learn about things and their properties (explorers)

3) think the littlest thing is hilarious and will continue to do it until someone else stops them

4) last but not least, will do all these things to a greater degree the less supervision there is.



These are just some of the many things we know about little boys. "we" meaning other moms of boys and anyone else out there with the least experience with boys. That is why I would think that those with degrees in education would understand this . . . not at Big E's school apparently.



While standing outside "the best school" in the county, I was speaking with Big E's best friend's mom, who had been contacted at home b/c her son was squirting ketchup at lunch. When Big E walks out from school (4 hours AFTER lunch) he has ketchup on his face and shirt. When asked why, he tells me that best friend #1 did it.



As an aside . . . We hop in the car and I hear someone yelling Big E's name. It's his teacher calling out b/c my darling son left his coat (in 38 degree weather) inside. It wasn't his coat, but he DID forget it and we are going to COLORADO for the week. Not a place to not have a coat. We were able to get the coat, with an unhappy and hurried mom who needs to p/u Special K in 20 minutes. P/U time is a artfully crafted hour so I can p/u both boys, who are 20 min apart in 1/2 hour.



I digress . . . back to exploding ketchup . . . So best friend #1 squirts Big E with ketchup all over his face and light blue standard school attire shirt. "But, he wasn't trying to squirt me or anyone" Big E says. "it just went out the wrong end." Hmm this is starting to get interesting. I say nothing. "When you twist the baggies of ketchup, they explode" Big E says with enthusiasm and a great sense of knowledge. "They explode?" I ask. "Yeah, so we explode them into our mouth [best friend #1] just missed 'cause it went out the wrong end." he continues. I am actually trying not to laugh at this situation as I listen to the story and get a mental image of 4-5 5 year old boys twisting ketchup packets until they explode and catching the explosion in their mouth (by the way apparently the packs are NOT touching their mouths during these explosions, the contents are just supposed to land there.) Now, unfortunately best friend #1's explosion did not end up in his mouth but over my Big E. Also unfortunate . . . best friend's mom got called at home and he will have to eat in the office for 1 week.



Is this situation not the epitome of young boy exploration. This is experimentation of what happens to something under pressure. What a cool thing to learn. The environment is rich with opportunities for exploration and science. These same boys have tested what happens to all of their food trash when they put it into baggies and start swinging it around or stomp on it. How about when you mix a whole bunch of different types of food and drink and slosh it all together. Hmmmm a lovely mixture that little boys will find delightful and full of laughs. This is physics and chemistry . So where is the psychology of the whole thing? Not with the ONLY 2 teachers who are in charge of a whole room full of 7 classes of Kindergartners. Remember "what we know about 5-6 year old boys" #4? because we are also dealing with math . . . inverse relationship of supervision to this exploration behavior)



I have to say, I am not even angry. In fact, I think it's quite funny. It helps that Big E didn't get in trouble, but I have called best friend #1's mom to tell her the whole story so she can advocate for her son that he was NOT the only one participating, poor guy just got a bad ketchup baggie. Now that being said, we did have a talk this afternoon about "would you do this at home?" "would you have done this in Miss. M's class"(from last year). His answer is no. A small teaching moment.



My question is WHY would you leave only 2 teachers and the hope of parent volunteers to be in charge of at least 100 to 150 kindergartners and 1st graders. THIS is what 5 & 6 year olds DO. Why is it expected that these children are supposed to go from complete supervision, to the lack thereof overnight, and actually behave. ESPECIALLY when they learn that ketchup packets explode when you twist them. No one ever told them NOT to do that before.



So . . . as we drive to pick up Special K, Big E says . . . "so that is why my face looks like it was in a food fight for my picture today." Yes, it was a picture day and NO ONE thought to help my son wipe his face off BEFORE the picture or even before the end of the day. Merry Cheers of a festive background, with my handsome son (who just had his hair cut yesterday) in his light blue standard school attire shirt with KETCHUP all over his face and shirt. I can't WAIT to get this one.



I'll add pictures when they come in . . .

Trick-or-Treating Etiquette

Trick-R-Treating Etiquette . . .

1) ring door 1x

2) do not bang on door until someone comes

3) stay outside the person's house

4) do not be choosy about the treat you receive

5) do not look in windows

6) say thank you

Mad Monk's parents were in town for Halloween this year. We had a blast with all the traditional activities, including a few more . . . read down for the need for the the Etiquette portion.

First there was pumpkin carving. Big E thinks pumpkins stink so wouldn't touch the gooey stuff inside. It was to gross apparently. Special K, on the other hand dug right in . . . with a spoon. If Big E won't touch it, neither will he, but it isn't going to stop him from doing it :) When we pushed the issue, he pointed out that Mad Monk was also using a spoon. Touche.

Big E was very interested in designing his pumpkin though. Notice the "hook" on the side . . .

Then there was dinner. Since we enjoy making things festive around here, dinner was no different. We had Mummy Dogs, Witch's Fingernails, Bat Wings with Sauce and Witch's Brew. We had monster toes for dessert.

Now it's time to trick-or-treat. Big E is Captain Rex, from Star Wars. No one really knows who he is unless they suffered through the new animated Star Wars movie for their children. This causes a lot of explaining by a 5 year old when he is asked if he is everything BUT Captain Rex. Special K is "Darth Vaaaaaador" Now you have to say it in just that way and by lowering your voice when you say "Vaaaador" as low as it can go and say it very slowly. Most knew who he was.

Now both Big E AND Special K have trick-or-treated before. We've gone over the routine, they know the drill . . . or at least we THOUGHT they did until the first house, when they rang the doorbell 5 times and then started banging on the door. Mad Monk and Darling B look at each other and mention that we might need to refresh on our T-R-T skills.

At the second house, we hoped they'd use the few new skills we taught them in between house one and house two like ringing the door 1x, no banging on the door, saying trick-or-treat and thank you. They again rang the doorbell a couple of times b/c they were fighting over who got to ring it then immediately said trick-r-treat before anyone opens the door. When the nice woman opened the door then stepped back in to get the treats, my lovely Darth Vaaaaaador and Captain Rex walk right into her house then proceed to tell her what they like and what they don't in terms of the treats she was offering. Okay . . . now we need to talk about etiquette.

It got much better from there after a few houses of yelling trick-r-treat immediately following ringing the bell and looking in the windows so they can yell back -- some one's coming.

Grandma and Pap Pap stayed back at the house and Grandma put on her witch costume. We decided to stop by and trick-r-treat at our house when we passed by to the other part of the community. Special K didn't know who Grandma was and Grandma (the witch) kept saying in a Witchy voice, "don't you want to come in to my house?" Special K, very politely said no the first time. The second time, he said no a little louder. The third time he yelled NO! We thought he just didn't want to go in. Well, no that wasn't the case. He didn't know who the witch was and when she tried the 4th time he started crying. We realized then that we never have to worry about Special K going with anyone he doesn't know, he'll be very clear that he DOES NOT want to go. See we knew this "specialness" would be useful!

All in all we had a great night. So happy Halloween . . . and please use good trick-r-treating etiquette!

Response to TMA comment on In a Galaxy . . .

In her comment to In A Galaxy Far Far Away,

TMA mentioned the "brick" wall in Special K's bedroom. I thought I'd add a pic . . .

In a Galaxy Far, Far Away

After MUCH debate and already buying the materials AND paint to make Big E's room into a Pirate Ship, he decided to change his mind and make it into a Space themed room instead.

This took much creativity on MadMonk's and Darling B's part! We thought of buying a big mural and pasting it on the wall . . . too expensive. We talked about painting the whole room black with stars all around . . . hmmm cool, but a black room? FINALLY Darling B saw a picture of a mural that was a port hole window into space. THAT'S COOL.

So do you remember the weekend (and blog about it) a few weeks ago about the too much planned and all turned into a disaster and Darling B thought it would be a good idea to start this space room too? Well, she didn't start it that weekend, but a few days later. Hmmm I wonder where Special K gets that stubborn, determined streak from????

So here are the pictures of Big E's Space ship room . . . First the before pictures . . .

By the way, I don't remember EXACTLY why I took these pictures in the first place, maybe it was to prove a point about how Big E needs to clean up his room. Notice the bottom drawer being open . . .

Now for the Space Ship Room . . .

The main cockpit. The moon in the middle was a birthday present this past year. The buttons are made with jewels that kind of sparkle light on and off like it might on a control panel. Cool effect! The window here is not quite done, as Big E wants planets, meteors and other cool space stuff. It was very important to MadMonk that DarlingB design the cockpit to look similar to that on the Millenum Falcon from Star Wars. The port hole here is finished with the star map for Nashville in November (MadMonk and DarlingB's birthday month) The fan has dark blue blades with a rocket on each. The light bowl looks like the earth. He picked it out months ago at the beginning of summer when we were picking out a fan for Special K's room b/c of the heat!

This is the port hole Big E can see directly from his bed. It has the star map for Nashville in February (Big E's birthday month).

3rd port hole has star map for Nashville in August (Special K's birthday month). Notice that there is STILL a drawer open (different drawer, but still)

This is a close-up of the February star map. You can just see the shiny stars that were painted on in glow paint. As for now, you really can't see anything during the day. Big E wants to keep it that way b/c technically you can't see stars during the day.

The effect is pretty cool in the dark, but would be better with a black light, which we are considering.